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This Oppression Scholar Explained The Psychology Of ‘Not All Men,’ And It’s So Articulate That Men In The Comments Are Thanking Her

归结起来有三件事,它们都指向一个根本问题。

At some point, you've probably heard the phrase, "not all men" being used as a rebuttal to conversations addressing feminism, misogyny, and sexism. And it can get incredibly frustrating and derail the conversation when you try to explainwhyit's harmful.

The District / Sarah Watson Productions / Universal Television / Freeform / Viagiphy.com

Well, a woman named Evelyn, known as@展望on TikTok, broke down the psychology behind 'not all men' in一段现在很流行的视频. 伊芙琳拥有哈佛大学的两个硕士学位,她在那里研究基于性别的创伤——在她的视频中,她指出了三个来源“并非所有的男人”都来自性别。然后她解释了说这话的人是什么样的人事实上communicating to women — whether they intend to or not.

@展望

#性别平等#takedownthepatriarchy#女权主义#提克托克#genderequality#女权主义者#左派

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Inher TikTok,伊芙琳谈到了以下三个来源:
1) The male "pick me" behavior:她的意思是,“我不是他们中的一员;我是好人之一。”
However, Evelyn says that this mentality is a total delusion, because everyone in a patriarchy (regardless of gender identity) has internalized misogyny and sexism that require unlearning.
2) The need to control women’s voices:Evelyn points out that men who say "not all men" are tone-policing women rather than directing their energy toward men who are actively harming women.
3) The male superiority complex:Evelyn elaborates that a man might understand that other men out there may be "bad," and by saying "not all men," he's trying to communicate that he is not one of them and that he's therefore dependable, because he will protect women from male violence.
伊夫林解释说,问题在于,这给女性灌输了对独立的恐惧,因为这意味着解决男性暴力的真正办法是另一个男人。

Evelyn's video received over 1 million likes and 18 thousand comments — many, perhaps surprisingly, from men who thanked her for educating them and said that they'd stop using the phrase.

Comments by men on the TikTok video read, "Thanks I'll stop saying not me," "Ok Evelyn, I used to say 'not all men' as a way to try and bring comfort to women who seemed upset with men, but now I understand you POV," and "I've got a lot to learn"
@展望/ Viatiktok.com网站

伊芙琳对BuzzFeedbobsport1.com说,她“为众多伸出援手表示感谢和支持的男性感到深受鼓舞”,她希望继续帮助他们。

BuzzFeed spoke with Evelyn to break down her, well, breakdown. Ultimately, Evelyn said that the three sources of "not all men" point to a root problem: men’s collective lack of deference to women. "Deference is fear and respect," she expanded, and men have deference to each other. So when men desire and need women but don't have deference to women, they cling to patriarchal ideologies "wherein anything male is superior to everything female."

A screencap from the TikTok with the caption, "This behavior comes from three sources"
@展望/ Viatiktok.com网站

为了说明她的观点,伊芙琳把它比作骑士拯救少女。骑士不会把注意力放在少女和她的经历上,而是会称赞自己帮助了少女(因为他不像其他伤害她的男人)。这将使他的经历,并提高他自己的自我,这可能会让他觉得自己是一个国王。

然而,伊芙琳指出,如果男人(或骑士/国王)尊重女人(作为王后,而不是少女),他会听她的,承认她有痛苦的经历,然后对其他男人讲话,以防止这种经历再次发生。

为了更好地定义男性“挑选我”的行为,伊芙琳从有毒的阳刚之气开始:这是一个准则,男人必须“穿”才能被女人想要和需要andother men. She revealed, "Men wearing toxic masculinity really are saying, 'Pick me.'"

一个标题为“";首先,这是一种男性选择我的行为;
@展望/ Viatiktok.com网站

伊夫林补充说,人们教导男人,有毒的阳刚之气是受欢迎的、酷的、令人向往的。

伊夫林指出,控制和调子治安也源于男性的“挑我”行为。当一个男人在一个分享经历的女人中间说“不是所有的男人”时,他会有效地调整她的语气,并否认她的经历来集中自己。此外,他还表现出防御性,不愿意进行反省。”这来自一个没有尊重的欲望和需要的地方,”伊夫林解释说,因为“有毒的阳刚之气不懂得尊重。”

一个标题为“";注意他们是如何对女性进行监督的;
@展望/ Viatiktok.com网站

Evelyn continued, "Toxic masculinity only knows entitlement, dehumanization, and hierarchy of humanity." Dangerously, because these behaviors and norms are taught as desirable, men wear toxic masculinity to belong, to be wanted, and to be needed.

So when a man engages in sexist behaviors — i.e., talking over women, degrading women in locker-room talk, cheating on women — what he is really saying is, "I need to be needed," Evelyn said.

Evelyn began connecting all of these dots when she studied labor as an undergrad at Cornell. She learned that the US and its economy have been built on the backs of women and people of color, leading her to realize that government and religion are primary drivers of oppression. So she went on to earn two master's degrees — one in theological studies and one in public administration — from Harvard. "I studied how religion and public policies throughout time cemented misogyny in the public psyche and our way of everyday life," Evelyn said.

一个标题为“";我专门研究了基于性别的创伤,我有两个相关的硕士';哈佛大学的s学位;
@展望/ Viatiktok.com网站

She elaborated, "When people say 'religion and politics are off the dinner table,' it means that the conversation around female oppression and oppression of people of color only disrupts civilized and peaceful interactions.

"I realized that 'peace' as we know it is the status quo built upon the oppression of people and our silence about it. I thought that was bullshit. So I decided to study oppression in depth, so I can not only talk about it with knowledge but also initiate and lead conversations around it."

虽然伊芙琳制作这段视频是为了解决男性使用“并非所有男性”这一短语的问题,但她告诉BuzzFeed,她向任何人提出挑战,让他们证明自己没有性别歧视偏见。但这并不是一个冒犯性的声明。”“我bobsport1.com们是在白人父权制的背景下被社会化的,”伊芙琳承认为了生存,我们每个人都必须适应在这种背景下制定的准则——包括采取我们贬低、轻视和羞辱妇女的方式,即使是因为男人的错误。”

A screencap from the TikTok with the caption, "In a patriarchy, everyone has internalized misogyny and sexism"
@展望/ Viatiktok.com网站

As an example, Evelyn pointed to the medical field, where women are systemically判定元件nied accurate diagnoses因为他们的医生认为他们夸大了他们的痛苦。

“当一个男人的生理和痛苦被设定为默认值时,女人对痛苦的表达就被认为比不上,也不值得关注。这每年都会夺去女性的生命。

随后,伊芙琳强调打赌的区别ween an active perpetrator and a passive bystander. She pointed to the use of, "I didn't do anything," to indicate whether one has actively done harm when it should be looked at as an indicator of whether one has intervened. In this vein, "I didn't do anything," becomes, "I didn't do anything to stop the hate I witnessed."

A screencap from the TikTok with the caption, "That's why we all need to unlearn patriarchal ways of behaving"
@展望/ Viatiktok.com网站

伊芙琳说:“我能看到一个恶霸,决定不介入。”在父权制中,我们的大部分角色都是这样运作的——一个消极的旁观者,没有或拒绝干预。我们的不作为才是问题所在。没有意识到这是问题所在。”

Overall, Evelyn hopes those who watch her video stay engaged and find ways to intervene when they witness hate. She began her channel to add to a world that values women for more than their bodies and reach Gen Z, but she's since noticed that many parents watch her videos. "So I think we all want the same thing: that the world be better for the next generation and the next," Evelyn concluded.

To learn more from Evelyn, follow her on TikTok@展望, on Instagram@女性主义者, and on YouTubehere.Check out her websitehere.

伊芙琳的视频告诉了你还是改变了你的观点?请在下面的评论中告诉我们!

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